is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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