That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
smell my finger.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
