idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
