Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
