One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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