You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
