i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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