i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
