after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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