It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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