Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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