My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize