I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize