Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
