i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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