I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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