I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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