I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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