and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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