My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize