I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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