I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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