I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
