what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
