wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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