update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
