Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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