he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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