Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
and you fell through a lawn chair
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
