After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
