I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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