Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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