Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
