at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
The beer is more important than you right now.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
