I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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