2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
she peed on how many people?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
