carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
