you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
