If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
