Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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