you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Jerry, you need to find god
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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