Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
