question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
