Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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