real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
