That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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