it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
