just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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