I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
