Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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