Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
