he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
we're making bets on your personal life
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
