Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
there is glitter all over my balls
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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