Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
