dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize