Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
