yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize