oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
