Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
