Got a toothbrush?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
