no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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