I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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