So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
