no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm at about main and main street
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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