I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Your dad touched me again.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
